Saturday, October 25, 2014

This morning I responded to one of two questions a journalist in Germany asked. She wanted me to elaborate on the biggest struggles I faced during my time in prison. Based on her question, I assumed that she didn’t know too much about me, so I responded as follows:

I was sentenced to serve a 45-year term when I was 23 years old, back in 1987. Initially, after a jury convicted me, I had to overcome the challenge of my guilt. Up until the time that the jury found me guilty, I deluded myself into believing that my lawyer would somehow navigate my way to liberty. The verdict shattered that illusion and I had to find some kind of way to accept that decades in prison would become a part of my future. The magnitude of troubles I had created for myself tormented my mind. As I lay in a jail cell, with walls closing in around me, I didn’t know how to make sense of my life. Everything breath felt heavy even though I hardly moved. Boils broke out on my body. When I slept, nightmares of imprisonment and separation from society kept me from rest. While waiting for the judge to impose my sentence, I contemplated whether any opportunities existed for me to reconcile with society. More than anything, I wanted to live as a good citizen. Yet while lying in jail cells, immersed in a culture of failure, I didn’t see the path to reconciliation. All that I could see were days turning into weeks, weeks turning into months, months turning into years, and years turning into decades. The pains of being alone penetrated me to the core. I worried that I’d never feel a woman’s touch. I stressed over how I would restart my life whenever prison doors would open for me. Somehow, God blessed me with a vision. If I worked to educate myself, contribute to society, and build a support network, I may be able to create a new life. By then I accepted that I’d be living in an environment with an exquisite design to extinguish hope. Nevertheless, I believed that staying true to this plan would empower me to maintain a high level of discipline energy throughout the journey.

 

Days since my release from prison: 439

Miles that I ran today: 12.6

Miles that I ran so far this week: 49.2

Miles that I’ve run during the month of October: 151.59

Miles that I ran so far in 2014: 2,015.61

Miles that I need to run in order to reach my annual goal of 2,400 miles: 384.39

Miles I’m ahead of schedule to reach my 2,400-mile goal by the end of 2014: 51.18

My weight for today: 168